Alice in Wonderland

Chapter 5: Advice from a Caterpillar

Allow me to sell you a couple?" "You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak

For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—

Pray, how did you manage to do it?" "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,

And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw

Has lasted the rest of my life." "You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose

That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—

What made you so awfully clever?" "I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"

Said his father, "Don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?

Be off, or I'll kick you down-stairs!" "That is not said right," said the Caterpillar.

"Not quite right, I'm afraid," said Alice, timidly: "some of the words have got altered."

"It is wrong from beginning to end," said the Caterpillar, decidedly; and there was silence for some minutes.

The Caterpillar was the first to speak.

"What size do you want to be?" it asked.

"Oh, I'm not particular as to size," Alice hastily replied; "only one doesn't like changing so often, you know."

"I don't know," said the Caterpillar. Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.

"Are you content now?" said the Caterpillar.

"Well, I should like to be a little larger, Sir, if you wouldn't mind," said Alice: "three inches is such a wretched height to be."

"It is a very good height indeed!" said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).

"But I'm not used to it!" pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she thought to herself "I wish the creatures wouldn't be so easily offended!"